(updated with Example 3)
More than One way to Organize and Present your Composition
(A Resource for Continuous Writing - Upper Primary 2013-2014)
Most events in a composition are presented in a chronological manner i.e. The events are described as one happening after the other.
This approach is fine and is the basic presentation of a typical composition.
In order to illustrate the effects of the different forms of Organization & Presentation, I'd like to provide examples through a common question (continuous writing):
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Question
When the pupils reached the field, Alex suddenly realized that he had forgotten his spectacles. After asking permission from his teacher, he ran back to the classroom. To his surprise, he saw someone digging into his schoolbag...
Based on the above situation, write a composition of at least 150 words using the following points.
-Who was the person in the classroom
-Why was he digging into Alex's schoolbag
-What did Alex do next
-What happened in the end
You may reorder the points and / or include your own.
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Example 1: Typical Presentation
After days of stormy weather, the boys waited excitedly for their PE teacher, Mr Lim, to arrive for an hour of games and play at the field. When he finally stepped into the classroom, the class broke out into a cacophony of cheers, shouts and applause. Soon, the boys were at the field ready for some action.
"Oh no!" shouted Alex in dismay. "I've left my glasses in the classroom! Mr Lim, can I please go back and get it? I can't see anything!"
Once his teacher nodded, Alex zoomed back to class at lightning speed. As he was approaching his classroom, Alex noticed some movement beyond the classroom windows. He dismissed it at first, thinking that he definitely needed his spectacles. However, when he was just about to step into the room, he heard a creak and knew that that movement was not a fragment of his imagination. He peeked in stealthily and was surprised to see his classmate, Billy, digging into his bag!
"Hey! What are you doing!" bellowed Alex. The shout caught Billy totally by surprise and while turning towards Alex, knocked his hand onto the back of Alex's chair. The reason for Billy's intrusion into Alex's bag was loosened from his grip and flung a short distance away. Alex could not believe his eyes when he saw his handphone 'took flight' and 'crash-landed' onto the concrete floor. He could feel his blood reaching boiling point as he gave chase when the culprit took to his heels almost immediately.
Unfortunately for Billy, Alex was the school's champion sprinter. In no time, Alex caught up with Billy and pinned him to the ground. Billy struggled defiantly and tried to punch Alex in the face. Alex was an agile boy and easily dodged the blow. Unfortunately, while dodging the punch, Alex turned his face right into a fire extinguisher next to him. The metal grazed his forehead and blood started oozing from the wound.
By then, the commotion had attracted both students and teachers. The teachers tore the boys apart and reprimanded them severely before giving Alex a chance to explain. When the truth of what happened came into light, Billy hung his head while he was led into the principal's office and Alex's wound was treated at the sick bay.
Further investigations revealed that Billy had been stealing his schoolmates' handphones when there was no one in the classrooms. He then sold the phones to different second-hand phone dealers and used the money to buy treats for himself and his siblings. Billy was handed to the Police. As he was only a child, he was ordered by the judge to complete two hundred hours of community service.
Alex's parents were furious of his impulsive behaviour and warned him never to behave in a manner which might jeopardize the safety of anyone. The scar on his forehead left him an indelible reminder to always think twice before acting.
Example 2: Recollection
-This is one of the most common ways to present
your composition in a more creative manner. Usually the story begins with the
main character recalling an incident and then the story moves on in a similar manner as in a
typical organization.
When
Alex saw his reflection in the mirror, the scar on his forehead, reminded him
how impulsive he was the day he had a fight with his classmate, Billy. It also
serves as an indelible reminder that violence is not the way to resolve a
problem. He was fortunate that Billy was not hurt, else how was he able to bear
the consequences?
"Oh
no!" shouted Alex in dismay. "I've left my glasses in the classroom!
Mr Lim, can I please go back and get it? I can't see anything!" The class
had just arrived at the field for their PE lessons when Alex realized how
careless he had been. Once his teacher
nodded, Alex zoomed back to class at lightning speed.
As
he was approaching his classroom, Alex noticed some movement beyond the
classroom windows. He dismissed it at first, thinking that he definitely needed
his spectacles. However, when he was just about to step into the room, he heard
a creak and knew that that movement was not a fragment of his imagination. He
peeked in stealthily and was surprised to see his classmate, Billy, digging
into his bag!
"Hey!
What are you doing!" bellowed Alex. The shout caught Billy totally by
surprise and while turning towards Alex, knocked his hand onto the back of
Alex's chair. The reason for Billy's intrusion into Alex's bag was loosened
from his grip and flung a short distance away. Alex could not believe his eyes
when he saw his handphone 'took flight' and 'crash-landed' onto the concrete
floor. He could feel his blood reaching boiling point as he gave chase when the culprit took to his heels almost immediately.
Unfortunately
for Billy, Alex was the school's champion sprinter. In no time, Alex caught up
with Billy and pinned him to the ground. Billy struggled defiantly and tried to
punch Alex in the face. Alex was an agile boy and easily dodged the blow.
Unfortunately, while dodging the punch, Alex turned his face right into a fire
extinguisher next to him. The metal grazed his forehead and blood started
oozing from the wound.
By
then, the commotion had attracted both students and teachers. The teachers tore
the boys apart and reprimanded them severely before giving Alex a chance to
explain. When the truth of what happened came into light, Billy hung his head
while he was led into the principal's office and Alex's wound was treated at
the sick bay.
Further
investigations revealed that Billy had been stealing his schoolmates'
handphones when there was no one in the classrooms. He then sold the phones to
different second-hand phone dealers and used the money to buy treats for
himself and his siblings. Billy was handed to the Police and because he was
only a child, was ordered by the judge to complete two hundred hours of
community service.
Alex
nodded at his reflection and declared, "No more violence!"
Example 3: Flashback
-This method of presentation if different from
Recollection as the character in the story experiences flashbacks of what had
happened throughout the story. This is one of the most challenging form of
presentation, requiring good organization skills and a calm disposition to map
out the story while still conjuring up its content.
I've read compositions presented this way
during the PSLE marking exercises. So, it's not impossible. I believe it boils
down to practice and keeping calm.
Alex
only remembered chasing Billy furiously. When he saw his handphone flung out of
Billy's hand and crashing onto the classroom floor, he felt his blood boil and
began chasing Billy like a raging bull charging at the matador. In no time,
Alex caught up with Billy and pinned him to the ground. Billy struggled
defiantly and tried to punch Alex in the face. Alex was an agile boy and easily
dodged the blow. Unfortunately, while dodging the punch, Alex turned his face
right into a fire extinguisher next to him. The metal grazed his forehead and
blood started oozing from the wound.
Now, Alex was sitting at the sick bay and his
teachers were treating the ugly graze from the fight which occurred only moments ago. He did not mean to pick a
fight. Alex was on his way back to class during PE lessons to retrieve his
spectacles. He realized he had left it there only when the class had reached
the field. With his teacher's permission, he tore down the corridor so that he
could return promptly to join his friends.
However,
when he was just about to step into the room, he heard a creak He peeked in
stealthily and was surprised to see his classmate, Billy, digging into his bag!
"Hey! What are you doing!" bellowed Alex. The shout caught Billy
totally by surprise and while turning towards Alex, knocked his hand onto the
back of Alex's chair. Billy was holding something in his hand and the knock had
loosened his grip and it flung a short distance away. Alex could not believe
his eyes when he saw his handphone 'take flight' and 'crash-landed' onto the
concrete floor. He could feel his blood reaching boiling point as he began to
give chase while Billy had taken to his heels almost immediately.
"Ouch!
That hurts!" Alex jolted back to reality as his teacher secured a dressing
over his would. "Well, then this should be a good reminder that you should
never be so impulsive again!" lectured his teacher. Alex nodded quietly.
After
further investigations, it appeared that Billy had been stealing his
schoolmates' handphones when there was no one in the classrooms. He then sold
the phones to different second-hand phone dealers and used the money to buy
treats for himself and his siblings. Billy was handed to the Police and because
he was only a child, was ordered by the judge to complete two hundred hours of
community service.
The
graze on Alex's forehead eventually turned into a scar, which became an
indelible reminder of how he should always think before acting so impulsively
ever again.
Impressive? I think so too. Why don't why let you child attempt the question and email it to me for review & comments? I love to read children's work! They are often more creative and imaginative than adults!
If not, I still hope this proves to be helpful.
**This concludes 'More than One way to Organize and Present your Composition'**
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