Selected Reading Material 1: A Robbery(1)

What is 'Selected Reading Material'?

Mentioned in my earlier post 'Tips for Struggling Writers', students who have problems expanding content are often told to "read more widely".

'Selected Reading Material' are carefully selected resources to help struggling readers widen their knowledge in areas often useful in composition writing. i.e. what happens during a robbery, accidents, kidnap etc.

After reading and using the resources, students will have more relevant ideas to use in their composition assignments & examination!

Read the following passage and take note of the underlined content.

DO NOT skip reading as it is important to see how the underlined content is used in the news article.

A Robbery

When jobless Muhammad Noh Mohammad Jais, 26, attacked a pregnant Mrs Jane Tan, in a lift, she stood her ground and refused to give in.

He tried to snatch her bag, containing $3,000, but fled empty-handed.

Two days later on Nov 14, he struck again and snatched a handbag with items amounting to $515 from Ms May Lee .

The 29-year-old victim was also pregnant and the incident also occurred in a lift.

He admitted to the theft yesterday in a district court and was sentenced to two years in jail and four strokes of the cane.

For the attempted robbery, he was jailed for four years and ordered to be caned 12 times.

In total, he will serve six years behind bars and be caned 16 times.

The man, who was diagnosed as having moderate mental illness, committed the first offence in Tampines and the second in Simei between 4pm and 5pm.

Both women are believed to be housewives.

Police responding to Ms Lee’s call, found her purple handbag and personal documents strewn at a staircase landing together with a $2 note.

She was carrying about $15 in her handbag.

Through surveillance camera footage from the lift, the police established the thief’s identity and Muhammad Noh, who is single, was arrested an hour later in Tampines Central. 

He led police to a rubbish bin where Ms Lee’s iPhone, valued at $500, was found.

The prosecutor said that Muhammad Noh had picked on very vulnerable victims and should be punished severely.

In 2010, he was jailed for three years and caned 12 times for robbing a pregnant woman.

For stealing from Ms Lee , he could have been jailed between a year and seven years and was liable for caning.

The penalty for attempted robbery is a jail term of between two and seven years and caning with not less than six strokes.

Modified from Robber Hit and Choke Mum-to-be', The Straits Times, 9 Jan 2013

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Using the above underlined content, fill in the missing details in the composition below:

         The sky was a clear azure blue. Mrs Tan had just returned home from her usual shopping trip from the market. She waited patiently at the lift lobby for the lift to arrive. As she was thinking about what to prepare for dinner that evening, she did not notice a man peeping at her from behind a nearby pillar.

          When the lift arrived, Mrs Tan stepped in quickly. Suddenly, the man rushed in and ________________________________________. Mrs Tan was a brave and stubborn woman. ________________________________________. The robber took out a knife and threatened," Give me your bag now!" Mrs Tan was so frightened that she screamed at the top of her voice. The alarmed robber decided to give up and so he _________________________________. 

          Mrs Tan was relieved that she was unhurt. She did not know if she should call the police. When she got back home, she called her neighbour, Mdm Yati and told her what had happened. "You too? I was also robbed last week in the lift! Maybe we should go to the police together?" The women could not believe that the robber ________________________________ so soon after robbing Mdm Yati. They decided to lodge a police report immediately.

          At the police station, Mrs Tan and Mdm Yati were shocked to learn that they were not the first to report about the lift robbery. The police recorded their statement and assured the women that they were already taking action. Through ________________________________________________. The police ambushed outside the robber's flat and he was ______________________________ when he was about to enter his home. The robber ____________________________ where all the stolen goods were stashed. Mdm Yati was informed by the police that they had _________________________________________________________________ and would be returning them to her once the items were recorded as evidence.

          

         The following day, the series of robberies was reported in the news. The robber ______________________________________________ and was ________________________________. Mrs Tan and Mdm Yati were so relieved that the robber was caught. They also agreed to be more attentive and always to be on the look-out for suspicious characters in the future.

          ######################################

Are you able to use the underlined content to build on the composition? 

Remember that the underlined content can be used in other composition related to robbery (but not stealing in school) and need not be occurring in a lift. E.g. snatch thief, robbery at the car park, toilet, staircase landing, void deck, outside the school etc

If you would like the answers to the above passage, do not hesitate to contact me. 

Since someone has requested for the answers, I think I should just post it here!

I'd like to emphasize that this is not a comprehension cloze exercise. The activity attempts to draw the student into using the content learnt from the selected reading material. : )

Answers:

1) Suddenly, the man rushed in and (tried to snatch her bag)

2) Mrs Tan was a brave and stubborn woman. (She stood her ground and refused to give in.)

3) The alarmed robber decided to give up and so he (fled empty handed).

4) The women could not believe that the robber (struck again ) so soon after robbing Mdm Yati.

5) Through (surveillance camera footage from the lift, the police established the thief’s identity).

6) The police ambushed outside the robber's flat and he was (arrested an hour later) when he was about to enter his home.

7) The robber (led police to a rubbish bin) where all the stolen goods were stashed. Mdm Yati was informed by the police that they had( found her purple handbag and personal documents)  and would be returning them to her once the items were recorded as evidence.

8) The robber (admitted to the theft yesterday in a district court) and was (sentenced to two years in jail and four strokes of the cane).

Did you get your answers right?

Kicking Up the Notch Part (I) - Resources for Writing Outstanding Compositions

(updated with Example 3)
More than One way to Organize and Present your Composition

(A Resource for Continuous Writing - Upper Primary 2013-2014)

Most events in a composition are presented in a chronological manner i.e. The events are described as one happening after the other.

This approach is fine and is the basic presentation of a typical composition.

In order to illustrate the effects of the different forms of Organization & Presentation, I'd like to provide examples through a common question (continuous writing):

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Question

When the pupils reached the field, Alex suddenly realized that he had forgotten his spectacles. After asking permission from his teacher, he ran back to the classroom. To his surprise, he saw someone digging into his schoolbag...

Based on the above situation, write a composition of at least 150 words using the following points. 

-Who was the person in the classroom

-Why was he digging into Alex's schoolbag

-What did Alex do next

-What happened in the end

You may reorder the points and / or include your own.

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Example 1: Typical Presentation

          After days of stormy weather, the boys waited excitedly for their PE teacher, Mr Lim, to arrive for an hour of games and play at the field. When he finally stepped into the classroom, the class broke out into a cacophony of cheers, shouts and applause. Soon, the boys were at the field ready for some action.

          "Oh no!" shouted Alex in dismay. "I've left my glasses in the classroom! Mr Lim, can I please go back and get it? I can't see anything!"

          Once his teacher nodded, Alex zoomed back to class at lightning speed. As he was approaching his classroom, Alex noticed some movement beyond the classroom windows. He dismissed it at first, thinking that he definitely needed his spectacles. However, when he was just about to step into the room, he heard a creak and knew that that movement was not a fragment of his imagination. He peeked in stealthily and was surprised to see his classmate, Billy, digging into his bag!

          "Hey! What are you doing!" bellowed Alex. The shout caught Billy totally by surprise and while turning towards Alex, knocked his hand onto the back of Alex's chair. The reason for Billy's intrusion into Alex's bag was loosened from his grip and flung a short distance away. Alex could not believe his eyes when he saw his handphone 'took flight' and 'crash-landed' onto the concrete floor. He could feel his blood reaching boiling point as he gave chase when the culprit took to his heels almost immediately.

          Unfortunately for Billy, Alex was the school's champion sprinter. In no time, Alex caught up with Billy and pinned him to the ground. Billy struggled defiantly and tried to punch Alex in the face. Alex was an agile boy and easily dodged the blow. Unfortunately, while dodging the punch, Alex turned his face right into a fire extinguisher next to him. The metal grazed his forehead and blood started oozing from the wound.

          By then, the commotion had attracted both students and teachers. The teachers tore the boys apart and reprimanded them severely before giving Alex a chance to explain. When the truth of what happened came into light, Billy hung his head while he was led into the principal's office and Alex's wound was treated at the sick bay.

          Further investigations revealed that Billy had been stealing his schoolmates' handphones when there was no one in the classrooms. He then sold the phones to different second-hand phone dealers and used the money to buy treats for himself and his siblings. Billy was handed to the Police. As he was only a child, he was ordered by the judge to complete two hundred hours of community service.

          Alex's parents were furious of his impulsive behaviour and warned him never to behave in a manner which might jeopardize the safety of anyone. The scar on his forehead left him an indelible reminder to always think twice before acting.

Example 2: Recollection

-This is one of the most common ways to present your composition in a more creative manner. Usually the story begins with the main character recalling an incident and then the story moves on in a similar manner as in a typical organization.

          When Alex saw his reflection in the mirror, the scar on his forehead, reminded him how impulsive he was the day he had a fight with his classmate, Billy. It also serves as an indelible reminder that violence is not the way to resolve a problem. He was fortunate that Billy was not hurt, else how was he able to bear the consequences?

          "Oh no!" shouted Alex in dismay. "I've left my glasses in the classroom! Mr Lim, can I please go back and get it? I can't see anything!" The class had just arrived at the field for their PE lessons when Alex realized how careless he had been. Once his teacher nodded, Alex zoomed back to class at lightning speed.

          As he was approaching his classroom, Alex noticed some movement beyond the classroom windows. He dismissed it at first, thinking that he definitely needed his spectacles. However, when he was just about to step into the room, he heard a creak and knew that that movement was not a fragment of his imagination. He peeked in stealthily and was surprised to see his classmate, Billy, digging into his bag!

          "Hey! What are you doing!" bellowed Alex. The shout caught Billy totally by surprise and while turning towards Alex, knocked his hand onto the back of Alex's chair. The reason for Billy's intrusion into Alex's bag was loosened from his grip and flung a short distance away. Alex could not believe his eyes when he saw his handphone 'took flight' and 'crash-landed' onto the concrete floor. He could feel his blood reaching boiling point as he gave chase when the culprit took to his heels almost immediately.

          Unfortunately for Billy, Alex was the school's champion sprinter. In no time, Alex caught up with Billy and pinned him to the ground. Billy struggled defiantly and tried to punch Alex in the face. Alex was an agile boy and easily dodged the blow. Unfortunately, while dodging the punch, Alex turned his face right into a fire extinguisher next to him. The metal grazed his forehead and blood started oozing from the wound.

          By then, the commotion had attracted both students and teachers. The teachers tore the boys apart and reprimanded them severely before giving Alex a chance to explain. When the truth of what happened came into light, Billy hung his head while he was led into the principal's office and Alex's wound was treated at the sick bay.

          Further investigations revealed that Billy had been stealing his schoolmates' handphones when there was no one in the classrooms. He then sold the phones to different second-hand phone dealers and used the money to buy treats for himself and his siblings. Billy was handed to the Police and because he was only a child, was ordered by the judge to complete two hundred hours of community service.

          Alex nodded at his reflection and declared, "No more violence!"

Example 3: Flashback

-This method of presentation if different from Recollection as the character in the story experiences flashbacks of what had happened throughout the story. This is one of the most challenging form of presentation, requiring good organization skills and a calm disposition to map out the story while still conjuring up its content.

I've read compositions presented this way during the PSLE marking exercises. So, it's not impossible. I believe it boils down to practice and keeping calm.

          Alex only remembered chasing Billy furiously. When he saw his handphone flung out of Billy's hand and crashing onto the classroom floor, he felt his blood boil and began chasing Billy like a raging bull charging at the matador. In no time, Alex caught up with Billy and pinned him to the ground. Billy struggled defiantly and tried to punch Alex in the face. Alex was an agile boy and easily dodged the blow. Unfortunately, while dodging the punch, Alex turned his face right into a fire extinguisher next to him. The metal grazed his forehead and blood started oozing from the wound.

          Now,  Alex was sitting at the sick bay and his teachers were treating the ugly graze from the fight which occurred only moments ago. He did not mean to pick a fight. Alex was on his way back to class during PE lessons to retrieve his spectacles. He realized he had left it there only when the class had reached the field. With his teacher's permission, he tore down the corridor so that he could return promptly to join his friends.

          However, when he was just about to step into the room, he heard a creak He peeked in stealthily and was surprised to see his classmate, Billy, digging into his bag! "Hey! What are you doing!" bellowed Alex. The shout caught Billy totally by surprise and while turning towards Alex, knocked his hand onto the back of Alex's chair. Billy was holding something in his hand and the knock had loosened his grip and it flung a short distance away. Alex could not believe his eyes when he saw his handphone 'take flight' and 'crash-landed' onto the concrete floor. He could feel his blood reaching boiling point as he began to give chase while Billy had taken to his heels almost immediately.

          "Ouch! That hurts!" Alex jolted back to reality as his teacher secured a dressing over his would. "Well, then this should be a good reminder that you should never be so impulsive again!" lectured his teacher. Alex nodded quietly.

          After further investigations, it appeared that Billy had been stealing his schoolmates' handphones when there was no one in the classrooms. He then sold the phones to different second-hand phone dealers and used the money to buy treats for himself and his siblings. Billy was handed to the Police and because he was only a child, was ordered by the judge to complete two hundred hours of community service.

          The graze on Alex's forehead eventually turned into a scar, which became an indelible reminder of how he should always think before acting so impulsively ever again.

Impressive? I think so too. Why don't why let you child attempt the question and email it to me for review & comments? I love to read children's work! They are often more creative and imaginative than adults!

If not, I still hope this proves to be helpful. 

**This concludes 'More than One way to Organize and Present your Composition'**

So, What is an Outstanding Composition?

Every year in mid-October, pupils will have a few days break (used to be 3 days, then, now, it is 4 days) while teachers are deployed to participate in the PSLE marking exercise. I used to look forward to the marking exercise as I could learn from other teachers through direct discussion and also by examining how pupils answer questions in their examination paper.

I have always been very impressed by pupils who, despite the stressful examination condition, are able to fully capture my attention and entertain me with their writing.

I believe a good piece of writing encompasses the following characteristics:

1) The composition meets the requirement of the question. (Planning)

2) It is well-planned and the ideas in the story link with one another.

3) The presentation of the composition is organized in a creative manner (as opposed to a conventional manner)

4) The storyline is creative and does not have a conventional plot i.e. the story develops unconventionally or ends in an unexpected (but not overly exaggerated) manner (unrealistic / over-exaggerated storyline rarely gets a good impression!)

5) The story is very descriptive e.g. sensory details of sight, sounds, smells, feelings, emotions are added appropriately throughout the piece of writing

6) The story 'feels personal' and does not seem like a regurgitation of a composition 'downloaded' from memory

7) (Optional) A humorous story easily wins the heart of any teacher, especially one who had mark thousands of mediocre, typical stories, while sitting on hard, uncomfortable plastic chairs, exhausted, back aching(!)...However, there are pupils who can write incredibly touching and thought-provoking stories even during their examinations. That's fine too! Kudos, as a matter of fact!

I am in the process of preparing some resources which can help strengthen your child's ability to meet the above-listed characteristics.

I will post them here whenever they are ready, one by one and gradually build up the repository.

Hope this post is helpful to you and your child!

Tips for Struggling Writers (in primary school)

*As this post is meant for parents of struggling writers and for struggling writers themselves, use of language has been adjusted accordingly. 

For the BASICS of Writing a Composition, please click here

Besides children who have special learning needs, there are usually two main reasons why Singaporean students struggle to write:

The children have difficulty constructing sentences which express the desired meaning (Language Limitation)

Some pupils are full of ideas. They are able to talk about their ideas and express their thoughts out loud. However, when asked to write them down, these students struggle to construct a full sentence. They have problems deciding which tenses to use and how to spell certain words.

Tips & Suggestions:

1) Start simple

Start with a simple sentence.

E.g. Mary was walking to school.

Add some details  -  talk about how she was walking.

E.g. Mary was walking sadly to school.

Add another simple sentence - why was she walking that way.

E.g. Mary was walking sadly to school. Her mother was sick.

Add some details - talk about why she was sick.

E.g. Mary was walking sadly to school. Her mother was sick. She was running a high fever.

As you can see, there is a basic pattern here.

Start a simple sentence, add some details. Add some more details.

If possible, you can join two of the sentences with a simple connector 

e.g. 'and', 'as / because', 'but'.

E.g. Mary was walking sadly to school as her mother was sick

OR

Her mother was sick and she was running a fever.

2) English, not Singlish

Singaporeans love to speak Singlish. I do too, especially when the situation is not too serious.

"Come on lah, why you like that? Teacher also can speak Singlish what. Play play only what?"

I bet many students out there can beat me hands down in Singlish! 

Unfortunately, Singlish is not acceptable in an English examination.

-Parents really need to set a good example. The parents' support for their child is the best help ever. If parents speak Singlish, the children will naturally follow!

-Try to watch the English news. It really helps.

-If your child speaks loads of Singlish while you don't, you can try recording yourself reading for your child to listen to. It can be a story, part of a story or the comprehension passage you want your child to attempt. Nowadays, handphones come with pretty good voice recorders OR you can easily download an app which does the job fine! Your child can always replay it (as compared to you having to read it again and again & AGAIN!)

If your child struggles to read too, this helps them pick up words and sentences which will come in useful when they are writing!

The children do not know what to write in their compositions  

(Content Limitation)

There are pupils who are able to construct sentences and come from English-speaking homes. However, they usually only manage to obtain a pass in their writing exercises. Some of these pupils are just not interested (one of my pupils in the best class told me he was just too lazy to write). Others just do not know what to write about!

Tips & Suggestions

1) Reading model compositions

For students who are weak in making their composition more interesting, reading what their peers write can be very helpful. I do not mean they should copy, but they can get some ideas to add on to their work if related topics appear in their homework or in the examination.

E.g. For a question related to any accidents, I will very likely see something like this in a very average composition:

...Tommy fell down and he broke his leg. A passerby saw what had happened and quickly called the ambulance. In a few minutes, the ambulance came. Tommy was sent to the hospital and he had an operation. Tommy's parents rushed to the hospital. They were very worried. After a few hours, the doctor came out from the emergency room and told them that Tommy was alright. Tommy's parents heaved a sigh of relief.

An above-average pupil may write something like this:

...Tommy lost his balance and fell from his bicycle. He screamed in pain when the heavy metal bicycle frame crashed onto his right leg, fracturing it. A passerby saw what had happened and quickly called the ambulance. She knelt down beside him and tried to calm the shocked boy while waiting for the ambulance to arrive. In a few minutes, the ambulance arrived. After checking Tommy's blood pressure, the paramedics lifted him onto a stretcher and soon, he was on his way to the hospital.

          At the hospital, the doctor examined his injuries and decided that Tommy needed an operation. The hospital staff informed his parents and they rushed over immediately after receiving the bad news. After a few hours, the doctor finally came out of the operating theatre and announced that Tommy was going to be alright. Tommy's parents heaved a sigh of relief and thanked the doctor profusely.

I've tried to change very little of the original passage. Instead, I added more (expanded on the) content (underlined words). These words / phrases / sentences can also be used when writing about other forms of accidents. A weaker pupil can pick up these words / phrases / sentences and use them in a different writing assignment!

That's NOT copying! Really!

2) Reading Widely

Now I know you've heard this before. I've also seen this suggestion in other websites or guidebooks. However, if I want to focus on helping a struggling writer, then he or she must read a large variety of selected material.

Some teachers help their pupils look out for such reading material and some parents cut out articles and get their child to talk about it or comment about them in writing.

These reading material can be from magazines, the newspaper, even a pamphlet. Topics can be about burglary, robbery, caring for the environment, change in weather, accidents, murder, fire, abuse (animal, human, child, elderly etc). 

Sufficient chances to read about and discuss about the content of the reading material can really widen your child's understanding about what is going on around him or her.

With this knowledge, struggling writer should be able to add more details to build up their composition. They will also be able to expand their vocabulary and this will proof helpful when attempting comprehension cloze passages!

*As this post is meant for parents of struggling writers and for struggling writers themselves, use of language has been adjusted accordingly.

I hope my ideas will be helpful to you and your child! 

Do look out for my next post for writers of above-average ability! 

Feel free to email me if you'd like some more information! 

FREE. No charges, definitely! : )

The Basics of Writing an English Composition (in primary school)

There are actually a number of resources available online which discuss about how primary school students should go about writing their narrative composition. I agree with them wholeheartedly and have some points to add on or even to simplify.

I have been fortunate to have had the chance to teach students of all abilities in the upper primary levels i.e. average-ability pupils, weakest classes of the average-ability pupils, foundation classes, high-ability classes and also foreign pupils from Korea, China and Japan. I dare not say I am very experienced. There are so many incredible teachers whom I look up to and respect so much. I am just more fortunate to have had taught classes with such varied abilities. So I have my own insight on how my students can score well for writing.

Writing: The Basics

All teachers will tell our pupils to PLAN before writing anything. However, planning is something very elusive to the average child out there. Here is my take about 'planning' and the basics of writing a composition:

1) Setting (Planning)

• After examining the given information, start to picture the setting of your composition. Some guidebooks define setting as where the story begins or unfolds. I think this is very misleading and not helpful.

• I'd advise my students to think of where their story begins, then the place it proceeds to ..., then where it ends at...

For Example:

An Unlucky Day

Home, in bed (late)--> stairs (missed a step) --> outside school gate (stepped into puddle) --> in the classroom (brought your sister's school bag) --> Home (dad bought least favourite food)

-Along with the various places, images of what might happen pops into your mind. This creates a structure or storyboard for your composition.

2) Brainstorm (Planning)

• Usually if my pupils are attempting a picture composition, I'd get them to brainstorm words / phrases related to the picture first. An even more organized approach might be to brainstorm in terms of verbs (action), adjectives (describing words)

• If it is for continuous writing, it would be a good idea to brainstorm after you have given some thought to the setting. Seriously, there are so many possible words and ideas, being able to focus your brainstorming will really make the activity so much more constructive

3) Plot & Development

• We can think of the plot as the highlight of the whole composition. (Planning)

• While developing (writing) your composition, always keep the plot that you have decided on while developing your story. Like many other teachers, I also use the 5W1H approach i.e. Who, Where, When, Why, What and How to help develop the story. (Since one can easily find resources on the use of this approach online & in guidebooks, I will not discuss the details here)

• Remember to use paragraphs. A new paragraph should be used whenever there is a major change in events and possibly when there is a change in the scene of the story.

4) Proof-read & Review

• Many pupils are just so relieved to complete their composition that they do not proof-read their work. One of the greatest loss to a student is a brilliantly written story which goes out of point because the story develops away from the requirement of the given question.

• I always tell my pupils to feel proud of their work and re-read it after writing. In the midst of checking for grammar, spelling mistakes, keep a look out if the ideas link well with one another. Imagine while watching a television drama and the scene skips to somewhere else and you have no idea what is going on and why events are occurring. If reading your composition makes you feel somewhat confused, then the ideas have not been linked properly!

For tips for Struggling Writers please click here.

There will be a lot more resources coming up. I promise. So do check back! 

Happy New Year and have a great weekend ahead!