Thursday, March 28, 2013

Selected Reading Material 2: Trapped in a Lift (Part 1)


What is 'Selected Reading Material'?

Mentioned in my earlier post 'Tips for Struggling Writers', students who have problems expanding content are often told to "read more widely".

'Selected Reading Material' are carefully selected resources to help struggling readers widen their knowledge in areas often useful in composition writing. i.e. what happens during a robbery, accidents, kidnap etc.

After reading and using the resources, students will have more relevant ideas to use in their composition assignments & examination!


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Read the following passage and take note of the underlined content.
DO NOT skip reading as it is important to see how the underlined content is used in the news article.

Trapped in a Lift!

For almost an hour, they were trapped in a shopping mall lift, five storeys up, 13 people in all, including seven children.

In these hot and stuffy conditions, they waited as rescuers tried their best to prise open the lift doors that had become misaligned. A child cried and two had to urinate in plastic bottles, while an iPad was used to keep the rest occupied with games. The children were heading to classes at enrichment centres on the sixth storey.


Two people stuck in the lift claimed rescue efforts took a long time because security guards who arrived at the scene turned down their requests to contact the Singapore Civil Defence Force (SCDF). The guards claimed that their lift technician was already on his way. But when he arrived, he too, was unable to perform the rescue. Everyone was finally rescued after the SCDF officers arrived to help the lift technician.


Mrs Pattterson was accompanying her children to their enrichment class at the sixth story when the lift suddenly jerked and stopped when it reached the fifth storey, then the lights went out.

"We (the passengers in the lift) immediately pressed the alarm button and a voice came over the intercom, but it was muffled and all we heard was 'wait', " recalled Mrs Patterson. 


"After 10 minutes, all of us were sweating because the ventilator had stopped and the children were restless. Some also began complaining that they felt breathless," she added. Two men then used their hands to prise the doors open and managed to create a small gap.


Fortunately, the lift had stopped at the food court on the fifth storey. People were waiting for the lift, and when they saw that the lift had broken down, they attempted to communicate with the people trapped inside. Someone jammed a fire extinguisher between the lift doors to keep them open, allowing more ventilation. A foodcourt stallholder even held an electric fan outside the lift for almost half an hour to blow air into the lift through the narrow gap, while another passed them bottles of water to drink.


Finally, after almost an hour, the SCDF assisted the lift technician in opening the lift doors and everyone was rescued.


An ambulance and fire engine had been despatched to the shopping mall but luckily no one was injured or needed special medical attention.


Modified from 'Kids Stucked in Lift for an Hour',  The New Paper, 08 Apri 2012.


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Part One

After reading the above passage, can you answer the following questions? This is not a comprehension exercise. Think of answers which can be used as content for your composition!

1) Why were the people in the lift trapped for a long time before they were rescued?

2) How did the parents / adults feel when they were trapped?

3) How did the the children feel when they were trapped? How did you think they reacted when they felt that way?

3) How were the children entertained when they were trapped?

4) After 10 min, why did the people in the lift began sweating?

5) How did the people trapped in the lift manage to get some fresh air themselves? How did people outside the lift help them improve the ventilation in the lift?

6) How do you think the people who were trapped felt when they were finally rescued? 


Part Two

Now, Let's try out the content on a sample question!


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Here is a sample question for continuous writing:

Mrs Ravi and her children had just returned from a trip to the supermarket. They boarded the lift and were on their way up to their home on the twelfth floor when the lift suddenly stopped. Mrs Ravi and her children were trapped...!

Based on the above situation, write a composition of at least 150 words using the following points:

-Why the lift stopped moving
-What did Mrs Ravi and the children do when they realised that they were trapped
- What happened in the end

You may reorder the points and / or include your own.

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Although the setting of the reading material provided is at a shopping mall, the content can still be used for almost any other settings. Be flexible!

Here is a possible composition using content from the passage:


    Mrs Ravi and her children had just returned home from a trip to the supermarket. They boarded the lift and were on their way up to their home on the twelfth floor when the lift suddenly stopped. The lights went out and the fan soon stopped too. Mrs Ravi and her children were trapped in the lift! 

    "Mommy! What is going on?" sobbed Mindy, "I am frightened!" When little Mark saw his older sister trembling in fear, he began to scream and shout. Mrs Ravi was very shocked to be trapped in the lift. However, when she saw that her children were even more frightened, she calmed down as quickly as she could. She hugged her children and tried to comfort them. When the children stopped trembling, Mrs Ravi took out her smartphone and called the emergency number. The operator assured them that help was on the way. In the meantime, Mrs Ravi launched some games to keep the children entertained. Then, she pressed the alarm button a few times and waited anxiously for help to arrive. 

    After a few minutes, the lift began to feel very stuffy as the ventilation fan was not working. Mindy and Mark complained that they felt breathless. Mrs Ravi tried to pry open the lift door but to no avail. Just as she began to panic, she heard shouts from outside,  "Do you need help?" "Yes! We can't breathe!" she replied as loudly as she could. In a few minutes, the lift doors inched open with a loud screech and a tiny gap appeared between the closed doors. Mrs Ravi felt so fortunate as she breathed in a deep breath of fresh air.

    After about thirty minutes, Mrs Ravi heard a loud screech and the lift door finally opened. "Are you alright?" A civil defence officer who had pried opened the door asked. His question was greeted by the children's applause and their beaming smiles. When the family emerged from the lift, they could see a fan blowing air towards the lift and a few of their neighbours greeting them. It turned out that Mrs Ravi's neighbours heard the alarm and quickly came to their aid. After forcing the lift doors, they held an electric fan at the gap to blow fresh air into the lift.

    Mrs Ravi thanked the civil defence officers and her neighbours profusely. She felt so relieved that everyone was safe and sound and that no one was injured. She would always remember that fateful day.


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Can you identify the content from the earlier passage? Can you see how it builds up the content of the story?


How else can an average-ability writer improve on this piece of sample writing?

** To be continued soon...**







Monday, March 25, 2013

Just to let you know...

I'm working on something for the content-struggling to average-ability writers. If you are interested, do check back around Friday!

Thank you for the continuous support!

Friday, March 8, 2013

More Updates 15th March!

Hello Everyone,

I am pleased to inform you that

"Kicking Up the Notch Part (2) -  Resources for Writing Outstanding Compositions " has been updated and completed.

Do take a look.

Thank you!

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Thank You for Being So Patient...

Hello Everyone,

The blog will be updated very soon.
Thank you for your patience and understanding.
I apologize for the month-long hiatus while I grappled with a number of personal issues.

New posts will be up by this weekend. Feel free to check back then.

Also a huge thank you to readers who have emailed me. I am genuinely and pleasantly surprised.
THANK YOU!




Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Kicking Up the Notch Part (2) - Resources for Writing Outstanding Compositions

"I've Said it Once, I've Said it Twice!..." So Don't Just SAY It!

Despite the fact that teachers have repeatedly reminded pupils to use a wider range of 'said' words, students often feel uncomfortable about venturing out of their comfort zone and experimenting with more varied vocabulary.

I often told my brighter pupils to experiment. If they don't get it quite right, I'll comment on it and they move on from there. 

Do not feel embarrassed if you use the words inappropriately. Learn from the mistake and use it at the right instance.

Here are some wonderful words which can convey the speaker's emotions so much more aptly than just 'said', 'told' or 'ask'.

Scene One

I declared, " I am never going to play with you again! You are a sore loser and a despicable cheat!" 

"Mommy! Sister is being bossy again! You see, she is bullying me again!" complained my younger sister, Lisa.

"Why can't the two of you agree on anything? I am sure Lisa did not mean to cheat. Maybe she did not understand the rules?" suggested mother.

"Seems more like she knows it like the back of her hand and loves bending it to her favour," I snorted, rolling my eyes in disgust.

"You are the one who is cheating. How would I know how to change the rules?"retorted Lisa.

"Stop it this instance!" exclaimed mother. "You will both go into your rooms and you are not allowed to speak to anyone for one hour! Anyone breaks the rule and you'll go to bed with no dinner! I mean it!" Mother bellowed.


Look up the meaning of the above underlined words and fill in the following blanks with the most suitable word.


1) "How dare you accuse me of breaking the vase! Did you see me break it?" Ahmad __________________________.

2) "No way! They are performing in Singapore? Wow!" ____________________ Ashley in delight.

3) "I will never speak to strangers ever again!"  _________________ Kuraisha.

4) Maggie ______________, " You call that a dress? I wouldn't be surprise if someone thinks you're wearing our table cloth!"

5) The teacher ___________________, " You are not allowed to play with the instruments in the Science laboratory! Some of these chemicals are very toxic and dangerous!"



Scene Two

Still fuming with anger, I stormed into my room. "Nonsense! Who needs a baby sister!" I ranted and raved mindlessly for a good half an hour before my clouded mind started to clear.

From the corner of my eye, I peeped at the photographs lined on top of the dresser - Sparkling eyes, chubby cheeks and beaming smiles. " Maybe she really didn't understand the rules," I conceded finally. Suddenly I felt ashamed of my unreasonable behaviour. Fancy a twelve-year-old picking on a seven-year-old!

When the hour was finally up, I crept stealthily to Lisa's room. The door was ajar and I could barely make out Lisa's voice beyond the door. "Why did Sister say those things? I am not a cheat! Why can't she be nice to me?" Lisa lamented in a low, trembling voice. 

I pushed the door open and approached Lisa with a heavy heart. After taking a  deep breath, I finally blurted, " I'm sorry. It's all my fault." Lisa stared at me, doe-eyed. "Please don't cry!" I pleaded sincerely. When Lisa raced towards me and hugged me like a koala bear, I knew all was forgiven.


Look up the meaning of the above underlined words and fill in the following blanks with the most suitable word.

1) "So much homework! When will this ever end?" Peter ________________ sorely.

2) After a long battle, the general _____________________, " We have run out of supplies. Tell the men to put down their weapons. We have truly lost this time!"

3) "Yucks!" Tommy _____________________ after he ate a mouthful of dad's cooking, before turning crimson after realizing what he had done.

4) After gulping down a full bottle of brandy and to the horror of his family, Mr Lim ____________________________ like a mad man, " This is not my home! You are not my family...!"

5) "Don't hurt me! I'll give you all my money!" Grandpa ________________ to the robber.


Answers to the above activities:
Scene 1:
1) retorted  2) exclaimed  3) declared  4) snorted  5) bellowed

Scene 2:
1) lamented  2) conceded  3) blurted  4) ranted and raved  5) pleaded




Scene Three

As I stepped into the room, I could hear the squeaking of rubber soles on the disinfected linoleum laminate floors. For some reason or other, the people here spoke in whispers. Occasionally, you could hear someone sobbing and another sniveling in a far corner. I turned into the hallway and saw a familiar face. She looked very pale.

"How is he?" I whispered to her. "The doctors said that he is still very weak," she replied quietly. I nodded and stepped towards the bed.

The accident had left Uncle seriously injured. His face was covered with lacerations and bandages, that the once handsome man was now barely recognizable. " Uncle, how...how... are you?" I stammered, choking back my tears. 

He was conscious but the morphine must have settled well into his system and he stared blankly at me with glassy eyes. A tiny tear gathered at the corner of his left eye. My heart felt like I had just leaped from a hovering helicopter and it gagged on my throat, rendering me speechless. Despite his silence, he had acknowledged my presence and hinted that he was aware of my concerns.

Memories of how he had lifted and tossed me around when I was still a child flooded my mind. His roaring laughter and generous hugs were now a fragment of the past. I quickly looked away and attempted to stifle the pressure building up in my eyes.

"Only time can tell how this ordeal is going to end," Jane sighed. "Yes," I agreed, "Only time can tell." 


In Scene Three, I've deliberately used some common 'say' words when writing the above passage. This is to highlight to you that it does not necessarily mean that a good piece of writing must be overflowing with bombastic and inflated vocabulary. As long as the words are appropriately used with other suitable and vivid description, even simple words like 'agreed' can bring across the necessary emotions aptly.

I hope this segment of Resources for Writing Outstanding Composition has proved useful to some of you. 

Do have the courage to experiment and make mistakes along the way. Only when you try, then you'll be able to learn from the process.

Have fun!



** End of Kicking Up the Notch Part (2) - Resources for Writing Outstanding Compositions **