Here is a suggestion on a more advanced approach to writing to composition based on the scenario given in the above post on 'Drowning':
Suggestion (2) Flashback
Lisa's eyes began to blur as darkness enveloped her. Her head felt like it weighed a thousand kilograms. She could not breathe as water began to gush into her nostrils and choked the life out of her. Just then, she felt a strong tug. Someone was shouting at her but she could not decipher what the voice was trying to tell her. Then, she felt herself being lifted from the water and laid onto a soft surface. Lisa was abruptly conscious that she was no longer engulfed in darkness as the light now pierced her eyes and tingled her senses. She cackled and coughed before she instinctively tried to gasp for air. At first, the water clogged her airways and she felt a burning sensation in her chest. Still no air. In desperation, she coughed as hard as she could. The force of the cough immediately cleared her airways and this time, she was successful. Fresh moist air raced into her system, rejuvenating the blood cells throughout her body. As the pressure in her head lightened, her vision began to return to her...
"Lisa! Lisa! Are you alright?" screamed Leo, Lisa's brother. Lisa was too weak to reply him. She barely nodded her head before she drifted into a deep sleep. Having survived a near-drowning, Lisa was exhausted. She just wanted to sleep for a while...
The sun was like a fire ball in the clear blue sky. Lisa and Leo had begged their mother to bring them swimming. The weather was overwhelmingly hot and Mrs Jones needed very little persuasion to make the trip down the nearby swimming complex.
When they arrived at the pool, it was very crowded. Mrs Jones reminded the children to be extra vigilant while in the water. As Lisa was not a good swimmer, she even made Lisa promise that she would always stay on the float. While the children splashed about in the pool, Mrs Jones laid down on a beach chair and soon fell asleep.
Leo and Lisa had a great time splashing water at each other. Just when they were deciding what to do next, they heard a shout, "Leo! We are here! Come and join us!" Leo's friends were also at the pool. Wanting badly to join them, Leo made a callous and irresponsible decision. "Stay on your float! I'll be back soon!" he instructed Lisa before swimming towards them. Lisa panicked. She did not want to be left behind. She tried to paddle along but Leo had already disappeared into the crowd. In her haste to catch up with him, Lisa lost her balance and slipped into the water!
Lisa splashed her arms frantically about as she desperately tried to keep her head above the water. Unfortunately, everyone around her was oblivious to what was happening. They thought she was just fooling around so they continued playing and chatting among themselves. Lisa felt the muscles in body bunching up. She was exhausted. Her arms were aching and she could no longer breathe. She was losing consciousness when the lifeguard reached her and dumped her lifeless body on his float.
When Lisa finally came round, she was in the hospital. Mrs Jones wept tears of joy and relief when Lisa finally opened her eyes and smiled at her. "I'll never leave you out of my sight, ever!" declared Mrs Jones. Leo hung his head low in shame as he approached his sister's side. "I'm so sorry Lisa. Really. Please forgive me. I'll never be irresponsible again," promised Leo. Overcome with fatigue, Lisa nodded her head again and managed a smile before slipping back into a deep sleep.
I hope you can try out this more advanced approach to writing. It is really more refreshing than the typical and traditional form of organising a composition. However, you'll need lots of practice before actually adopting it during an examination!
"Lisa! Lisa! Are you alright?" screamed Leo, Lisa's brother. Lisa was too weak to reply him. She barely nodded her head before she drifted into a deep sleep. Having survived a near-drowning, Lisa was exhausted. She just wanted to sleep for a while...
The sun was like a fire ball in the clear blue sky. Lisa and Leo had begged their mother to bring them swimming. The weather was overwhelmingly hot and Mrs Jones needed very little persuasion to make the trip down the nearby swimming complex.
When they arrived at the pool, it was very crowded. Mrs Jones reminded the children to be extra vigilant while in the water. As Lisa was not a good swimmer, she even made Lisa promise that she would always stay on the float. While the children splashed about in the pool, Mrs Jones laid down on a beach chair and soon fell asleep.
Leo and Lisa had a great time splashing water at each other. Just when they were deciding what to do next, they heard a shout, "Leo! We are here! Come and join us!" Leo's friends were also at the pool. Wanting badly to join them, Leo made a callous and irresponsible decision. "Stay on your float! I'll be back soon!" he instructed Lisa before swimming towards them. Lisa panicked. She did not want to be left behind. She tried to paddle along but Leo had already disappeared into the crowd. In her haste to catch up with him, Lisa lost her balance and slipped into the water!
Lisa splashed her arms frantically about as she desperately tried to keep her head above the water. Unfortunately, everyone around her was oblivious to what was happening. They thought she was just fooling around so they continued playing and chatting among themselves. Lisa felt the muscles in body bunching up. She was exhausted. Her arms were aching and she could no longer breathe. She was losing consciousness when the lifeguard reached her and dumped her lifeless body on his float.
When Lisa finally came round, she was in the hospital. Mrs Jones wept tears of joy and relief when Lisa finally opened her eyes and smiled at her. "I'll never leave you out of my sight, ever!" declared Mrs Jones. Leo hung his head low in shame as he approached his sister's side. "I'm so sorry Lisa. Really. Please forgive me. I'll never be irresponsible again," promised Leo. Overcome with fatigue, Lisa nodded her head again and managed a smile before slipping back into a deep sleep.
I hope you can try out this more advanced approach to writing. It is really more refreshing than the typical and traditional form of organising a composition. However, you'll need lots of practice before actually adopting it during an examination!
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